Sketches of a Dream

It is exhausting living in this world where you don't put the same time and effort into yourself as you do everybody else.  It isn't selfish to take care of yourself so why does it have such a bad reputation? Why do many of us struggle to take care of ourselves?

I've found, that for me, taking care of everyone else's dilemma's, stress, problems------ you know what---- It's a sneaky way my mind swerves around my own problems. I don't have to deal with my shit because it's easier to help or handle other peoples problems. I wasn't even aware I did this for most of my life!

I've stopped living for everyone else for a while now. I sleep better. I know how to be present and  in the moment.  I do things that make me happy. I smile more. I laugh a lot.  I'm not a pro yet at self care, I feel like I've got a very good start though. Most importantly  I have learned who I really am by giving myself the opportunity and room to grow.

All this good has come about, yet this has been a really rocky road. I haven't yet written about how I felt stuck, the

struggles, the down times, the ups for a brief moment then plunging back to the grind. Yes, it has been a grind because, to me, self care includes facing your fears, problems, organizing the clutter in your mind.

    Get to know yourself

   to enable growth.

Erasing old sketches (dreams) and creating new ones. Sometimes it's even a better idea to let go of the old sketches, in order to start fresh.  Throw them away and move forward. For Good.

That's always been the hardest thing for my tender heart, letting go of sketches that I held onto for so long.

Hanging Around

Some days just feel like this. 

Your not sure how you got this way and while your hanging in there you can't help but think 'my life has just spun out of control'

 Life happens and before you know it your stuck on a gate out in the middle of nowhere. 


Everyone has experienced this at one time or another, and just like this cow, your energy runs out and you just give up and hang there.

During this time it's best to remind yourself that the situation won't last forever, stay positive and that more than likely you will learn a big life lesson from your struggle.

Welcome 2019!

Once again, it's a new year. I've always thought of the new year like a fresh, clean new notebook with crisp pages. Your dreams are not yet dreamt, the magic is unknown. Resolutions can be dull, write something more colorful than resolutions. How about your wildest dreams? What makes your heart flutter? If you dared, what would you do? How would it feel? Leave some open spaces for something unexpected. If you explore your true dreams what will this year bring if only you can imagine it?

Renew your Spirit

It's been a difficult year, it's time to up the R&R for myself. The crisp mornings  seem to be full of promise. It's time to let go like the trees let go of their leaves and they seem to dance to the ground. Letting go is such a freeing process. This time of year always reminding to, as sad as it sometimes is, to just let go of things that aren't working for you. Wether that be friends you have grown apart from, a relationship that no longer has depth or something as simple as letting go of old clothing. It feels good in the end, somewhere in the middle though I get stuck in the sadness of it all. Why do things have to change? I know... I know... change equals growth and that's fine and all, but just when you get used to something, boom, its gone. I've changed a lot in the last year and it is all for good, I do realize all change is not a bad thing. I have learned the hard way to live in the present and truly enjoy each experience of life as you go through it. So I'm trying to feel this bit of sadness currently and somehow, in the end pull something positive out of it. I get Eyeore-ish  occasionally and absolutely dislike these times because I feel like a big downer! Got to get it out of system though.

As I walk across the crunching leaves I imagine each dream, thought, whatever that is not serving me in my life right now, being crunched up and know it will slowly disintegrate just like those leaves. It almost feels good to let that go. To leave it on the ground in pieces so the wind can blow it away. Im learning to mourn the loss of letting go yet at the same time knowing it feels great to take a heavy weight off of my back.

Beginning something new, going in a different direction, I greatly look forward to. Reinvent yourself, cut your hair, sing out loud or write poems ---- do something to move in a new direction. What will you dare this Autumn?

It's time.

You know it.

Change it up.